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hopscotchee: scarlett johansson score: 83.5 rating: R time: 126 minutes

okay, so joaquin can rock a mustache. he's, like, only one of the .009% of people who can!! so, we want to take this time to award him the 'twinsAF Mustache Man Medal '. it's a great honor. this award holds the most value in the whole world - true facts - and therefore represents the highest accomplishment anyone can recieve. joaquin should be very proud of himself. he can now go on and feel accomplished in life.

nintendo switching subjects, do you like poems? because her is one heck of a mind blowing cinematic poem!! but just like any poem, you always analyze it after you've read them (if that's not the case, we're film buffs, not lit nerds, so fight us later and go with the analogy for now). so, give her the same curtesy and literally don't go into this movie knowing anything. we assure you, it is unlike anything you've seen before, so it deserves to be viewed and appreciated with only a fresh pair of eyes. let it surprise you with its spectacularity, and, most importantly, let it be a journey. don't google the ending or, even for that matter, read the summary. just dive in deep and sink into the screen.

YAY that's cleared up. onward with the review...the very first thing that will stand out immediately in this film, is its pastel palette - and when we mean palette, we mean color palette. varying between a stark red against a cloudy grey hue and a playful cocktail between yellows and oranges, it is no mistake that the consistency and particularity of what colors were in certain scenes was strategically planned out by the collaboration between the set designer, costume creator, and cinematographer. although when one automatically thinks about the future, they tend to think of vibrant colors and bold silhouettes, the mastermind-trio behind this design decided to contradict that which forced the audience to passively shape their interruption of the futurist society from theodore (joaquin)'s perspective of it. which enters the pastels...when we first meet theodore, we are introduced to his dependency of technology (seen through his job, hobbies, and source of entertainment) that spotlights his eye-sore of a social life. rooted way too deep in his routine, the reliance to his devices makes him blind to the world around him which is aesthetically represented when theodore wears red, not realizing that everything around him is actually muted in grey tones, because he has self-isolated himself from world to stay plugged in. (it is only once theodore breaks this habit (spoiler) - seen when he goes on the blind date - that the background colors brighten up and spread across the screen equally).

while we're already talking about this theodore man, can we just talk about how joaquin carries the fudge out of this movie? for real!! even though there is no denying that the 'twinsAF Mustache Man Medal' is the greatest award, the 70 plus that he has won in the past for his talent is no joke either, and greatly backed up by any random minute you watch in this movie. acting, for the majority, on his own (with artificial scar jo added in through voice overs, when acting in scenes together), his gumption to not only take on a role like her, but to execute it flawlessly too, is just astonishing!! (spoiler) AHAHAHAHHHHH even the weird 'sex-surrogate' scene!!!! which was cringe as fu - was no exception to the range that joaquin can bring in a scene, taping into the emotional vulnerability and sensitivity of theodore's personality and boundaries as a character. to state it simple, if you ever need someone to rock a mustache or act in a one man play, call up joaquin.

but...if you ever need to make an all around incredible film, call up spike jonze. it would be a royal mistake to think that all this came to life without him. creating such an alluring and intriguing film that leaves you curious 'til the very end THAT ALSO keeps the audience in their seat to wait for the full story to infold, is a very complicated concoction to master. saving 'best for last', if you will, the efforts spike jonze put into to create the world and environment for this story to thrive in, exuded from this film with eccentric flair. essentially, it was obvious that the passion and dedication he had for this movie was a friendly constant, which is what made this movie come to life the way it did.

-- thanks, scar jo xo

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