• twins AF

MACHETE MICHELLE


waa (wednesdays at angelika) credit: everything everywhere all at once


wanna know a secret?? to get the honor of being inducted into the twinsAF exclusive, most-wanted club of the best of the best actors to ever breathe on this earth (also known as the dead list), you can't breathe. what?! trippy!! we know!! and no, it's not a 'look i can hold my breath under water, mom. look at me. look at me, mom. MOM! look at me. i'm an annoying toddler and need your attention solely focused on my uncool talent that literally anyone in a pool can do, but you must watch mmmmmeeeee do it' thing-a-ling.


TWINS, you're going off on a tangent per ujsh (usual? ush? usuh? ujah? idk?!!)


TWINS!!


whoops. sorry. the point is, you can't breathe, because you have to be dead. and you have to be dead because you killed your role. not because you killed an audience from cringe-worthy-acting. so, you get it?? it has to be your role, and not our role, as the audience, you kill. but also not just one role. it has to be many. we can't just catch you on a good day. it's gotta be consistent. golly, we know, so many rules!! but that's what makes it ssshpecial (special). and speaking about ssshpecial, it's 'bout gosh darn time we introduce you to our new killer that you probs already have been given a clue about from the picture that we just passed while we had to explain all this really important nonsense.


anyways...


everyone, machete michelle (aka michelle yeoh). machete michelle, everyone.


that was cute, but we ain't done with the introduction.


for anyone a part of that 'everyone' just there who doesn't know machete michelle, which is hopefully like 0 people like tim mcgraw. (if you don't get that joke, check out our country strong commentary to be in the know about that one) ((if you did get that one, plz continue you well-educated reader))...you know that machete michelle is just slaying it in the industry!! and, honestly, slaying is a big understatement. don't believe us?? since 1984 this queen has been consistently taking on almost a project a year, sometimes even 5 or six at the same time, racking up a total of 68 credits, including 11 upcoming films!! and, like, we don't wanna be ageist, but the girl's 60 years old. not only does she look ggggoooooooooodddd for her age (not saying 60-year-olds traditionally look 😱), but she's just making the most of her film career in the best. way. possible!! starring in a plentiful variety of roles in films like james bon: tomorrow never dies (1997), crouching tiger, hidden dragon (2000), memoirs of a geisha (2005), kung fu panda 2 (2011), guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 (2017), crazy rich asians (2018), last christmas (2019), and our personal fav and also our wednesday at angelika watch, everything everywhere all at once (2022), you can pick any single one of those films and NOT find a bad acting moment. and if that's not enough proof of c l e a r l y more than just a good day, we don't know what is.


that said, it's not just how many movies machete michelle has been in that makes her a phenomenal actress. here us loud and clear, no quantity will ever account to quality of a good actor. even if an actor has a massive quantity of roles because of their quality, it will never be the ever-so-important factor that makes a person 'a reputable actor' or on the dead list. why?? because there's always, ALWAYS exceptions. (*cough* *cough* tom hanks *cough* *cough* ben afleck). it's like the popular kids in school. like, they might be 'cool' and have 'a lot of friends' and everyone 'knows their name', but are they really the most interesting people?? at the end of the day, you don't care about those actors, even if their faces are plastered on every billboard.


but, we do care about machete michelle!! serving us, versatility, depth, emotion, vulnerability, and attention to the little things, she knows how to work our brains like a rubik's cube. embracing the character fully, she doesn't leave anything on the table for imagination. her ability to completely convince the audience of her characters' decisions and choices, just from the sheer inflection of her voice or even the slight movement in behavior, is ssssooo mind blowing but ssssooo michelle. like, what else would we expect from this wonder woman.


OMG!! let's start a petition to get michelle in wonder wowan 3!! the would kick a$$!!


we hope nothing but the best for machete michelle and can't wait for her upcoming films (hopefully, including wonder woman 3)!!


-- would love to work with you, xo the twins




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