hopscotchee: jessica alba score: 65 rating: pg-13 time: 117 minutes
first things first (hashtag iggy), can we please talk about the cluster f that is this cover. what is ashton kutcher's photo?? it is absolutely trash can fire vibes. it looks like he was standing next to someone, and they cut them out. and taylor swift's is seriously just her "today was a fairytale" single cover. it's like a collage of images from the film and weird, uber, profile closeups. we also never got the field human heart that is pictured at the lower right hand of the poster. and let's not even talk about the single black square that makes an awkward empty space. rubbish. H O W E V E R, our movie poster judgment aside, the film itself was the complete opposite of a trash fire.
to address the obvious, yes, we are aware that our viewing of this film may raise some eyebrows, since we did not stereotypically watch valentine's day on valentine's day. in reality, this film revolves around the february holiday but holds so much more than just heart shaped candy and "be mine" sentiments to exclude it to a once-a-year watch. so call us crazy for giving this the ol' rewind in the middle of september, but, if you are looking to put a smile on your face, this 2010 rom com is the way to go. and we assure you it does not disappoint.
to start unwrapping this review, we have to send all the hearts to the casting department. they clearly didn't aloha-effect this up. straight up flexing 🦾 with names such as jennifer garner, anne hathaway, julia roberts, and queen latifah, the casting agent(s) really knew what they were doing. not only did they bring in the big names, but they didn't just cast for ticket-bate (wdk whatever the movie-theatre-going equivalent would be to clickbate??). proper claps have to be applauded to them for so seemingly knowing who would perfectly deliver and translate the script to screen. and this is not our kind way of saying the script sucked (it sure didn't, and we'll get to why later). at the same time, we are not naive to the sprinkle of infopackets that were included in the dialogue at times - BUT you see with the casting done so perfectly these infopackets didn't come across as offensive or dense. the talent smoothly incorporated those chunky lines in to where it almost felt natural. almost. infopackets are still infopackets. but who else could've pulled off bluntly stating that they were gonna have sex with their boyfriend for the first time BESIDES emma roberts?? see, nobody else could've. claps 👏 claps 👏 claps 👏 to the casting department!!
shooting cupid's arrow to our next love, we have to stop and shout the script like promised. just like 2003's love actually storyline, valentine's day had a similar let's-interweave-everyone's-plots-together mentality. and although it was already done well in 2003, that doesn't magically mean that any other film with a similar layout will do the same. a great example of this is with the film new years eve. the screenplay was done by the same screenwriter on valentine's day, but it didn't really land as well. ashton kutcher wasn't as likable (honestly crustier), the couple stories were flat and un-rootable (especially the jon bon jovi segment), and nat wolff wasn't given enough screen time!! okay, that last one was a personal preference, but in the greater scheme of things new years eve is a great example at a film with a similar layout that didn't land as well. that's why we have to give credit to the additional help of story creators abby kohn and marc silverstein, who elemented the story for valentine's day and made each plotline as special and interesting as the next. another person who added to the success of valentine's day's turnout was obviously....
gary marshall (the dirctor)!! we must praise gary for the coordination and commitment behind this movie. the most important job for the director is to make the environment of the set well run and enjoyable for all. it is evident that gary marshall accomplished this to some extent due to the devotion that is seen on screen. obviously the actors and actresses didn't flop on their part and the set department fulfilled on their end, but it was even seen in the little things. like how the production had to (spoiler) orchestrate the siena bouquet van doors opening and dropping the flower delivers after the car was hit. OR how taylor lautner took the hit and actually missed a hurdle, causing him to tumble and hit the ground in a way that definitely is gonna give him a red raspberry. it was in these little things that we could notice and appreciate the love that was put into valentine's day.
to blow a kiss bye bye on this review, if there is one thing we noticed in this movie, it was, again, the dedication and thoughtful planning that took place. valentine's day was an ensemble. from its casting to its storyline to its production, and the film wouldn't have been the same if all that were a part of it didn't do their part. that is why we believe that this film can be watched on any occasion - not just on valentine's.
just maybe think about updating your movie poster 😆
-- thanks, jessica xo